Quiet desperation, anyone?
Have you ever had the feeling you were living someone else’s life? How about going through the daily grind in a never-ending brain fog? Or did you find yourself in a CPA career (after all, your father was a great one) but you never really liked numbers? Maybe it was a life your mom wanted for you or the one you thought would impress your friends. ….
In the mid 19th century, the famous naturalist Henry David Thoreau saw these same type troubles in the hearts of man. The typical man was missing something, or he was being pulled toward things that Thoreau thought really didn’t matter. As America began to move into the industrial age, more and more were living unaware of the majesty around them. He made a bold plan. He would complete an experiment on simple living. He decided he needed to find a space where he could deeply reflect requiring complete seclusion. For two years he lived in an isolated cabin in the woods of New Hampshire. The setting inspired him to create his most famous and inspirational work, Walden. In reflection, he writes,
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
How he came to this conclusion was far from scientific. It was not peer-reviewed for validity in the latest scientific journal of the day. More than likely it was an observation based on the daily encounters of his days in the mid 19th century. Thoreau sensed that mankind was headed down the wrong path. The quiet and peace surrounding him enabled him to philosophize about mankind operating like a “machine”, unaware of the finer things in life….. being mindful of a wood thrush’s song in the morning, the azure color of the pond at a certain time of day, the outrageous colors of a salamander skirting by..
Zoom back to the present. 150 years later, where do we stand? How easy is it for us to go about our day-to-day lives in a monotonous grind unaware of the sacredness which surrounds us? We like routine, structure. We inherently buck change. But what if our routines are not giving us true fulfillment? Is there even a small flicker of light in us looking to burn brighter? A new painting, song, or perhaps invention?
Why do we seek comfort, unconscious of our inner true yearnings? Are we afraid to fail? Be judged? Nowadays, when we start to feel this uncomfortableness, there is an endless opportunity to “check out”. Thoreau’s ideas of mankind “checking out” were more related to mindless, repetitive work in the dawning of the new industrial age rather than the latest android or apple device but the two are certainly relatable. Thoreau sees a way out, hope. He writes,
“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”
But how does one live confidently in the life he/she has imagined? How does one know what his/her true dreams are? Attainment is possible, but we must be determined, diligent, disciplined. My interpretation is there are three parts to this attainment:
The first part is in the reflection, the actual thinking. What makes me come alive?
The second part involves the doing. You can’t think your way to the life you want. It must at some point be lived and acted upon. When something doesn’t feel right, we learn to pivot, often making mistakes along the way. Inevitable suffering leads to unexpected clarity if we can just hold on. Through patience, we gain true wisdom leading us one step closer to home. Sometimes, however, our home is not the same one everyone seems to be living in, as Thoreau laments,
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
Last, there is one thing man must constantly remind himself of at every hour of every day: awareness. This is awareness of the thoughts we are thinking and the actions we are taking. How are these aligned with the person I truly want to be? This is man changing from autopilot to manual mode.
Thoreau was excited by the possibilities,
“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”
We have the freedom to choose. What do we really, really want? ……
*We love working with those easily distracted and who are having trouble staying on task. We help them to understand what may be going on, then watch them take flight. There is a significant shift in perspective, ultimately changing behavior leading to a more satisfying life.